Decision Making: Get Unstuck in 10 Minutes or Less By Separating the “What” from the “How”

Accelerate your decision making and uncover your next steps with the “What-not-How Method”

Over the past two weeks, I’ve spoken with 4 people who were thinking of whether or not to leave their jobs. So I’ll share with you this concept from a career-change perspective, but know that it can also be applied to other dilemmas you may have.

The thing that was holding them back from taking action was all the reasons around how it would be difficult to change.

These reasons tend to fall into a few categories:

1. Feeling like you’re ungrateful for what you have now

   1. “I work for a prestigious company and I’d lose recognition.”

   2. “I have a good work-life balance now and other companies may not offer that.”

2. Feeling under-qualified

   1. “I don’t speak enough of the local language to qualify for another job.”

   2. “I don’t have enough skills to change to what I’m interested in.”

3. Situational cons

   1. “I want to start working for myself but then I wouldn’t have a working visa to stay in this jurisdiction.”

   2. “If I start making more money, then it’ll put me into a different tax bracket so I’ll wind up doing more work just for that extra money to get taxed.”

4. Feeling your dream is too far away

   1. “I want to start a bed and breakfast but that would be a huge risk.”

   2. “I’ve always wanted to be a designer but I’ve spent my whole career in finance. It would feel like starting over.”

Here’s the fix: separate the “What” from the “How”

If you look at all the concerns listed above, you’ll notice that people are only focusing on how they will get there. They keep answering the question, “Why would it be difficult to change?” This question focuses on the process - the how - of getting to where they want to be.

When you start from this perspective, you wind up talking yourself out of changing.

So let’s ignore the “how” and focus on the “what”.

The “what” is essential because the “what” is the goal you are aiming to achieve. Oftentimes, the picture of this “what” is not painted clearly. People feel pulled towards a goal, but they aren’t clear on what will be different about their lives and what impact this change will bring them.

The questions you should be asking yourself are:

• If I had a blank slate and didn’t need any qualifications, money, etc., what would I do?

• What experiences do I want to have?

• What opportunities would be available to me when I create this reality?

• What impact would this have on my life? (If you’ve thought of only one thing…what else?)

• If I reverse-engineered my goal, what are the key milestones I’d need to hit to get there?

• What is your timeline for reaching this goal?

These “what” questions help you accomplish three things:

1. Envision the dream you have in detail so you can have an emotional understanding of why change needs to happen toward that goal. This will light your inner fire and motivation

2. Get a clear understanding of the milestones you need to hit to get there (aka your step-by-step roadmap!)

3. Understand your timeline. This is so key because it gives you perspective. Some goals may be things you can accomplish in months, whereas others may take a few years. You don’t need to go from being an accountant to being a designer overnight, but you’ll want to make sure that the next step you do take is something that is in line with becoming a designer.

What to do next: focus on the milestones, one at a time

What’s great about having this plan in place is that you can focus on each milestone one at a time.

So instead of having a huge amount of obstacles to reach your goal, all you need to do is focus on accomplishing the next step.

And after each milestone you hit, your dream will feel more and more like a real possibility instead of a fantasy.

Here’s Beth’s Story

Beth* has been feeling burnt out at her job as a therapist. She’s been finding it harder and harder to separate herself from the emotional weight of her clients’ traumas, and the workload is so much that she feels like repeats the same day over and over again.

She’s been wanting to change jobs but is feeling stuck on what to do. She enjoys the library so she’s thought of being a librarian. She enjoys events so she’s thought of being an event planner. She’s worked at a hotel before as an intern so getting into hospitality could be an option.

Whatever it is, she wants to do work where she’s in a position to be around or help other people experience joy.

Beth thought of all of the reasons why she couldn't change careers. She has a lot of student loan debt to pay off and her current salary is good. If she changed to being a librarian, the pay cut wouldn’t help her debt. She wants to be an event planner but doesn’t have any experience. She wonders if there is a job where her qualifications as a therapist can help her get something solid.

When we separated the what from the how, we started with the first question: “If you had a blank slate, what would you do?”

Her response was quicker than lightning: “I’d run a Bed and Breakfast, no doubt!”

As you can see, the “What” - what she wants to accomplish - was completely out of sight and lost in all of the questions she had about how to change jobs.

So we delved deeper. We hashed out how running a Bed and Breakfast would help her feel happy around travelers and help with events like weddings and celebrations. We talked about how her friends and family would love to be involved and it would bring her a sense of community. We talked about how she’d be able to give back to the community by providing jobs for University Students and carrying items from local shops.

Here are the milestones she uncovered on what it would take to get there:

• Learn how to run accommodations

• Get experience in event planning

• Pay off student debts and be in good financial standing

• Look into online courses or consultants on launching Short Term Rentals (like Airbnb Superhosts)

• Consult with her cousin who has run a Bed and Breakfast, as well as her dad who runs his own business about what to consider

• Consult with a bank about what is possible for a business loan

• Reach out to her friend who would probably want to co-run a Bed and Breakfast and hear what she says

• Hunt for real estate

You can see how Beth has key milestones to take from where she is now to where she wants to be as a Bed and Breakfast owner, and some will take longer than others.

This conversation gave her clarity in that while she was not ready to start a Bed and Breakfast right now, she wanted to focus on getting a hotel job for the next couple of years so that she’d be able to gain experience with running accommodations and also spend time focusing on paying off her student loans.

How can this exercise work for you? Feel free to apply for a strategy session with me, I’d love help you move forward.

*elements changed for anonymity purposes